So, why is it that we hate Naruto again?
by LineApe
Summary: It's just an ordinary day in Konoha. A couple of men are having some fun when one of them has a very simple question.


So, why is it that we hate Naruto again?

* * *

It was a beautiful summer day in the village of Konoha. The birds were chirping, the ninjas were roof hopping, and a pair of middle aged men were in the middle of the street laughing and having a good time.

One of the men suddenly stopped what he was doing and looked to his neighbor.

"Wait a second… So, why is it that we hate Naruto again?" the first man asked.

The second man turned to the first with an incredulous look on his face. "What do you mean, 'why'? He's the demon brat! He killed tons of people! Why wouldn't we hate him?" he replied.

"Well it's just… he didn't kill any of us, you know?"

"Sure he did, what are you talking about?"

"Well, the demon never actually made it to the village. I mean sure, it killed a ton of ninjas – no question there! – but it didn't actually kill any of us villagers, so why do we hate the demon brat?"

"What about all the damage the demon did?"

"Again, all ninja related damage. It never even made it far enough to destroy the village walls."

"It killed ninjas and its all evil and stuff! That should be reason enough!"

"See, the thing is, the ninjas don't really dislike the kid, well for the most part anyways…"

"Really? I thought they hated him too?"

"No, not really. I mean they get annoyed with all the pranks and stuff, but most of the ninjas and Anbu that you see talking to the kid actually seem amused by his antics."

"Huh, that's interesting. Are you sure about the whole 'ninjas like the brat' thing?"

"Pretty sure."

Looking around for a moment he saw just what he was looking for.

"Anbu-san!" the first man shouted.

The masked figure with the gravity defying gray hair turned to look at them and pointed to himself in a 'who, me?' kind of way.

"Yeah, you Anbu-san, we have a question to ask!"

The ninja sighed and put down his book, then leisurely walked over to the pair of villagers.

"Yes random villager-san?" the ninja asked, with a tone of casual indifference.

"Quick question. Do you hate the demon-brat?"

"No, not really no."

"Really? Even after he killed all those ninja?"

The ninja sighed. "For the last time. The boy is not the demon. There's a seal. Does the scroll that a kunai is sealed within suddenly become a kunai? I think not."

"But what if the seal breaks!"

"Do you know anything about seals?"

"Well no, but a seal can break, right?"

The ninja sighed again. "You, being a villager and not a ninja, may be ignorant to the inner-workings and capabilities of the sealing arts, but rest assured that I am fully versed in seal theory. The seal is stable. There is no reason to fear the boy."

"…But."

"Look, if my word isn't good enough for you, then what of the collective words of the previous two Hokages and the legendary seal master Jiraiya? All three have looked at the seal and found it in working order. Will that be sufficient?"

"Oh? That does sound pretty concrete."

"Indeed. Will that be all?"

"One last question. If you don't hate the boy – as you so claim – then why haven't you stopped us from beating the crap out of him? Look at him, he's all bloody and stuff."

There Naruto lay; curled up in a ball, crying and beaten to a pulp…

In the middle of the street…

In broad daylight…

"Eh, too much effort, and there's all kinds of porn to read. That, and the demon will probably heal him quick enough. No harm, no foul."

"Right. Okay, thanks Anbu-san!"

The ninja was already a dozen feet away by the time that he was dismissed, and a casual wave was his only response.

"Well, that was informative."

"I still don't get all that seal stuff."

"Me neither. Well, I guess we should probably stop beating him then, huh?"

"Well, he did say no harm, no foul right?"

"Right."

"So, let's get Noboru and see if he's interested in working on his soccer kick."

"Good idea. I'll keep goin' on the brat so that no passersby gets any ideas and thinks we're done with him."

"Cool. Be right back."

With the idea of searching for his son in his mind, he absentmindedly punched the kid in the gut, and happily went on his way.

* * *

AN: A little crack, a little parody, and a little dark humor.

I'll get back to my Harry Potter stories ASAP. Don't be expecting any quick updates however; I _am_ lazy after all.

-Lineape


End file.
